Balancing Humility and Self-Worth | Episode 120 with Līlā Śakti Mayī

thank
you I notice like so much care to every sound every syllable you know is that what part of what interests you in studying Sanskrit it is so exciting to be able to access these words that are so inherently infused with so much power and magic and I love I'm kind of a nerd for Sanskrit grammar and pronunciation and I just love of knowing how to pronounce them and and then going slow with it and just savoring these even these little syllables just a single syllable in Sanskrit can contain the essence of Guru for example
or the essence of the Goddess I mean it's so just unfathomable how can a word or a syllable be that powerful contain power well Sanskrit is called the uh davani which means language of the Gods and the script itself is called dagi which means the city of the Gods and I don't have a response to that question that would be able to fully um satisfy it but one thing that I do feel feel um cautious about is actually putting the Sanskrit language up on too much of a pedestal because all language is powerful and all language is sacred
and people who don't know Sanskrit or don't know how to pronounce Sanskrit correctly aren't missing out um we know that when we Infuse whatever language we're speaking with our tensions or with some strong emotion whether it's fear or longing um that it has an effect on those words and it's the same in the Sanskrit language but what I think the difference is is that there is a an ability for the syllables to absorb more of our intentions our whatever is going on in our heart it's like the syllable the syllables are more
fertile um they can take in more of what of what we want to infuse them with and then it doesn't even matter if you don't know that you're pronouncing it incorrectly for example it's it's about what's in your heart and using this mystical language as a tool to not only be able to more effectively Express what's in your heart within your sort of inner realm of contemplation and meditation or in Kon where you're singing out you're calling out um but also uh it's something that is a con it can be a constant companion it can become a personal tool
that you can use even if you've never studied a lick of it in any formal sense so how is it like that for you how do you use it as a tool well I I've gone through a sort of um there's been this whole Arc of the journey that I've gone through with the Sanskrit language because when I was first starting out with mantras and with sacred text written in the Sanskrit language there was a lot of um there was a lot in the way of my being able to make it personal to me um there were expect ations that I was importing uh onto myself in terms of
what mantras I should be saying or shouldn't be saying and how often I should be saying them and there was um a lot of sort of using it in a very ritualistic way um that involved even just my thinking that I could judge spiritual advancement and where I am on the spiritual path according to how much I was engaging with mantras either through japa or saying them before meals Etc and and some of the the mantras that I was saying during that time that like I was saying a few minutes ago the energy how the energy
that we bring to these these words really gets infused into them well that energy of restrictiveness and should shouldn't and rigidity and harshness and self-criticism and fear if I don't do this then what will happen to me in an ultimate spiritual sense all of that got infused deeply infused into some of the mantras that I was saying at the time and and it's been a long process to allow myself to come into contact with mantras that I wasn't saying or verses that I wasn't focusing on back then and to start to
feel freedom within my relationship with them and to claim them as something that does help me feel more connected to myself and is not a tool for shame not a tool for reminding me that I'm not enough in some way but that they actually are the exact opposite they're tools for reminding ourselves of how precious we are just for being that tacy that just because you are that just because I am that that I am so connected and so loved and wanted and precious and so that's been the sort of transformation that I've gone through is
to come to a place where I can let go of the Sanskrit language in various ways being something that I was using to affirm my lack of preciousness and now and I'm and I'm I'm there's still work to be done but I'm but it's so much easier for me now to have an experience of um love when I'm saying or singing a mantra that I have um developed a trusting relationship with over time just like any relationship with a human being it takes time to build trust and to build a sense of sa safety and it's one thing for people to say that oh this Mantra is so
powerful and if you chant it a certain number of times every day for however long then you're going to experience this result or whatever it might be whatever prescription common social spiritually social prescription might be surrounding um a particular Mantra or just the idea of mantras and and shlokas in general um allowing yourself to slowly at your own pace develop your own individual specific relationship with what calls to your heart yeah I was just going to mention the heart actually I'm wondering if that's like a forgetting the need for
the heart to be involved right like just okay here's the prescription you know say this this number of times but is the hard involved yeah and do we want the heart to be involved because part of the prescription part of the attraction to the prescription I think is that it then it can give us a sort of Inn to using these uh these practices as a form of spiritual bypassing so if we have a formula if we have a prescription um that we are fully depending on uh in a way that is disconnecting us from our heart then it might be allowing us to
avoid some things that are going on in our heart that are really painful and that would be really challenging to sit with and to learn how to care for there's so much that comes up especially when when when engaging with these mantras I mean they unearth so much from the depths of our heart and those pains and disappointments and feelings of emptiness or loneliness are really challenging to sit with and so I think that we need to be careful with not over relying on prescriptions or over relying on a structured practice in a way that it
allows us to maybe continue avoiding discomfort so have you found that discomfort is really that the way is to to look at it to investigate what the discomfort is is that what you practice eventually that happens organically this sort of analyzing and the unraveling of what is this what is what is what is the information behind the fear for example what's why is it there what's going on but what I've learned that I need to do first is actually practice empathy with it self-empathy so just validating its existence that it is
here there is a reason why it's here I don't need to know what that reason is right now the fact is that it has risen and especially when it's something painful it means that there's there's it wants to be cared for when it comes up it wants to be seen and it wants to be cared for without being fixed necessarily and without being changed or remedied but just to be able to hold it and in in in practicing that we automatically get space from it so it is the first step in in healing because we're developing a relationship with it from
our sort of wise adult self we're coming at it from one angle uh while it's over here and we're trying to provide it with care and so we're already separate from it in a sense and so that means that we already do have um the ability to not continue to unconsciously be in its grips um but yeah so I I like to make sure that I just let it be in its fullness first before the sort of natural self- inquiry process begins where I want to to dissect it and understand what's behind it yeah I wonder if what you're saying happens
naturally when my relationship with myself changes right um when I really believe that I'm a precious being yes right and that I don't have anything to prove yeah you know there's nothing to fix yeah like if that's the foundation now yeah of course if if I really believe that then whatever is there in coming up is acceptable because it's a part of that yes I chills that's exactly it it's like full self-acceptance full acceptance of just what is right now yeah I spend a lot of time thinking about what gets in the way of
that you know both for myself and on a on a larger level because on one level it's very it's like obvious that that should be the case like oh my gosh like we're these incredible beings you know and animals too and just like the appropriate response to to life to me is like awe and wonder m like what is the situation that we're in like living on this planet with all this variety the variety is always what catches me the most yeah like that every person is unique and every leaf is unique and like like what how can there
be so much variety um so but in a way I think it's the variety the immensity of it can also catch us in a way when the comparison game is it's the comparison game I think that ultimately is the greatest obstacle in that the need to compare myself to other human beings yeah yeah what I've experienced personally is is it's Fe for me it's been fear especially because well and I guess it does involve comparison because I don't see it mod I mean in society at large you know we're sort of sheltered at yogaville here but definitely in society
at large it's not something that's modeled that I am just so worthy of an abundant life just because I am you know all the cues when we were growing up maybe on our family of origin the cues are that somehow I have to go out and be a go-getter and I have to build something for myself and I have to strive and I I have to constantly improve make sure that I'm good enough make sure that I'm progressing um and that's like the antithesis to what we're talking about uh and even even in the shelter of a spiritual Community there
are I have found that I've had a lot of fear of being judged as being selfish or that I have a or that I will one day discover that I'm a very selfish person um and this work of learning to ex authentically experience our own preciousness and to trust it to trust that it's safe to not have other expectations of oursel is something that requires so much inner work and and focus on what's going on in my mind right now what's going on in my heart right now but the cues um in in spiritual teachings there there's so many warnings
about being selfish and it and that it's so wrapped up in the ego and that it's actually something that can prevent us from going in the direction that we would like to go um this fear of being selfish and being self-centered and I think that there is a a misunderstanding around that huge misunderstanding around that um I Heard on a recording with Swami suchanda a couple weeks ago he was talking about how the function of the mind is to think thoughts and so we may need to make sure that we're thinking thoughts that don't
disturb the mind and what are thoughts that don't disturb the Mind well they're selfless thoughts and selfish thoughts disturb the mind and then he went on to say that selfish thoughts or selfishness is something that involves an expectation of an outcome an expectation of something in return and selflessness has no expectation of an outcome and it has no expectation of something in return and when we're operating in relation to ourselves from a place where we can't give ourselves compassion and we can't give ourselves
empathy usually it means that we're giving ourselves some kind of signal that we're not enough that or some kind of there's some kind of self-criticism there's some kind of self- judgment there's some kind of internal harsh dialogue that's saying you're not worthy of this or look you're not enough and so this didn't happen or you need to sit down and do x amount of meditation every day or else you're not disciplined or there's so much that's not empathy that we are kind of subconsciously um bombarding ourselves
with but inherent and in those kinds of non-empathic thoughts that we aren't enough is this expectation that we should be better somehow there's some there are all kinds of ways that there actually can be expectations of ourselves or expectation having an expectation of an outcome of what it is that we are aren't able to do when we are able to start to practice self-compassion and self-empathy all we're doing is validating what is what is there and we're not trying to change it we're not trying to fix it and so there's actually no
expectation of an outcome we're just an acceptance of of what's there and so practicing self- empathy in this light is selfless and being unable to be compassionate and to be empathic towards ourselves is relatively speaking selfish and I'd like to say too that it that when we aren't empathetic to what's going on inside or towards our behaviors or towards the nature of our relationships Etc and we are leaning more towards a place of insecurity of feeling I'm not enough in this way or I'm not worthy of this it can turn into a sort of false
humility of I am so lowly I am so fallen and sometimes this kind of humility seems like a virtue is touted as a virtue in in communities right um or especially I am I am the most Fallen I'm the most lowly and um uh the uh a great teacher of the godia vava tradition once said you are not the most anything um but anyway I just that kind of false humility is is is another way to avoid the Real Pain that's there in believing that you're so lowly and that you're so fallen and truer or pure humility does have some of that it does
have um this expression of being low in relation to another human being another great spiritual figure um to even sacred texts but what's happening with that brand of loneliness is a couple things are going on the first is we're conscious that we are are going low because by doing that we're allowing another person to share more of themselves with us so we are we are moving ourselves out of the way if you can literally imagine someone going prostrate before a deity or even just before the alar of another person's
heart when you bow down you're removing yourself as an obstruction but it's for the purpose of allowing whatever the other party is a human or a a a a is devata or Guru um you're allowing them to take up more of that space and share more of who they are and what's in their heart but it can't stop there humility that going low has to necessarily be coupled with uh if you think of like like like this is one axis it has to be coupled with this other vertical axis of standing straight up and growing tall and asserting oneself like we've been
talking about preciousness knowing my inherent preciousness and that uh my uh one of my teachers like likes to use the word passion for this so it's humility and passion and so they have to go together and if we stay with just the humility then we are at risk of um idolizing or participating in idolatry towards another person and what that means is just making someone else into more than what they are while simultaneously blaspheming ourselves and but I what I what I mean by that is making ourselves into less than what we
are and conversely if we're too focused on the passion side if we're too focused on asserting ourselves and asserting our worthiness and preciousness and getting our needs met without the balance of the loness then it's the opposite then we run the risk of uh idolizing ourselves making ourselves into more than what we are and blaspheming the people around us making them into less than what we are so the two create it's a system of checks and balances this humility and passion and they work together in in all Realms of
our of our life spiritually socially professionally our relationship with ourselves it it permeates everything m as you've been sharing a word that's been coming up for me a lot is Discovery like the importance of Discovery like I can sense that a lot of what you're sharing has been discovered by you you know like the truth of it has been discovered um and I I just wonder about the emphasis maybe that Discovery deserves and isn't getting sometimes even like these messages of you know you have to get out and do something in the world and be
productive and you have something to prove you know I I'm considering that even that comes from a place of wanting to share right like someone has discovered that being productive for them has filled themselves up right has brought some good in in their life feeling like I'm doing something that's that's that's good yeah and often I think when we have those positive important experiences right away we want to kind of like force it onto someone else but they might not be ready for that there that that forcing changes
everything you know in in the process of it um and there's this fear around that of like if people if General Society didn't feel this pressure that no one would do anything I think that's maybe the underlying fear like things wouldn't happen we wouldn't be productive and I actually think it's the exact opposite um that getting to this neutral place of I don't need to do anything there's nothing to prove right what comes out of that that's going to lead to something very good that's my belief yeah you know yeah I am I completely
agree especially because when we create that space uh in our lives I like that I like that you use the word neutral um then the dynamic infinite completely abundant and Fantastical kind of powers of the of the universe Ian that's when they can come and do their thing you know it's not a stagnant like it's not a stagnant energy where if we become stagnant then everything around us is going to remain that way but but creating spaciousness around us invites in is the way to tap into Infinite possibility and and that
that comes towards us um when we allow it to by not forcing anything ourselves yeah it's like I think in deep meditation coming to that place of emptiness right and I've talked to a lot of people about this and asked them like how do you really know what you know right for me I know what I really know when the message comes through in that place and I know it's even not mine it's not mine like there's nothing there's complete contentment at The Emptiness right and then this message comes in that feels like it's just a gem and it's
like okay this is truth I don't know where it came from yeah you know yeah and and and so just I think allowing for that that Discovery it's so hard I think because we want to share we want to share so much with others what we find yeah but sharing is really tricky yeah it's very astute I'm liking where you're going with this very tricky even even with service I think about that like so many people feel like yeah like pressure to serve like I'm supposed to serve or I'm supposed to be selfless right like there's a lot of
pain to that to me I don't think that's really ever going to work the way that that works is when someone genuinely discovers the joy of service and that literally I'm instructed to serve and when I serve and I pay attention to the way my heart feels when I serve and then I look for opportunities to do but I have to come to all that on on my own not because some Authority told me yeah you you should serve and be careful about you being selfish yeah yeah yeah yeah it's very it's there's a fine line between [Music]
sharing truly for truly with the intention to uplift and support and um nourish someone else along their path and sharing in a way that becomes disrespectful of their innate empowerment and their innate resourcefulness to navigate their Soul's experience one of my um one a quote that I bring up often is the the founder of nonviolent communication Marshall Rosenberg he says um in order to uh in order to give advice to somebody and I would I would lump advice in with any sort of teaching or counseling or anything that's coming from that place
in order to Dole that out he has to receive a request um it has to be in writing notorized and then triplicate otherwise he is not going to give advice wow and you know I love that and I think that that is that that is the way to go to truly honor and respect the fullness um and the capability and the uh empowerment of someone else um and also if there's something that we if we're just feeling so effervescent and jubilant because of something that we've discovered in our lives in our lives that's really working for us we can
always ask you know would you be willing to hear about this amazing thing that I've come across yeah and when we ask that we would have to be willing to hear and no right yeah yeah that's incredible I never heard that before about him uh I love it yeah I try to think about it like this like to not the expectations are really what get me and have caused me pain when I I want someone else to change so much I want them to see yeah what I see yeah uh so that that's hard and that doesn't seem to work as well either but and and
there's a sense of lightness that's missing I think in those exchanges right um but instead what I've been trying to do more of is it's just an offering and I have no expectation of it like I'm sharing but I have no expectation that the person is going to choose to use what I've offered to do anything but I'm still offering what I found is that I off for a lot less but still when I do I'm just like all right I'm saying it like because I also don't want to I kind of went to the other side of it a little bit for a
while I would say and would not say anything because I was like they're not going to understand what I'm saying or they're not going to do anything about it right which is kind of the flip side to the previous experience yeah um but ultimately I think it's just it's like something's calling me to share and I have no expectations of what's going to happen I'm just doing I'm just saying these words just because it feels right in this moment and that's it yeah and that int that intuitive knowing to withhold or to proceed and and share is
powerful and to I feel like that's a muscle that we can develop that intuition and it can be difficult to separate it out from the other voices on our head um but that intuition combined with a sort of very um practical skill of discerning someone else's receptivity just like you said they you don't know if some like some you don't think someone would even understand what it is that you might want to share um so kind of strengthening that ability just through living life and through trying to be sensitive in our everyday
interactions um that ability to discern whether or not someone might be receptive to what it is that you might feel called to share in your heart but it's also tricky yeah oh yeah to me this is also where humility comes in into play because I have I have to remind myself that sometimes I think I know and I'm wrong you know like I the the discern like yes I discern and I feel for it and I could be totally wrong yeah and that's okay yeah yeah I think that's yeah that's a very Salient point for sure do you ever like see this all as a game
anything yeah um you know I wish one of the things that I would like for myself is to feel is to experience more lightness in my life like Swami sucha says life is for fun and I feel like that's one area that I really like to grow in is just being um more light-hearted and playful and easeful in relation to this existence and not um not taking the work so seriously or that's something that I would really like for myself so that I I aspire to something like that okay but to just to go a little bit more deeply into that
like is it a game maybe it's a game like why would it not be a game Le I mean Leela means divine play yeah and it means it means that on the one hand yes it is I think it is it's all just this playfulness of of the Divine and there are these forces that come in and kind of put us behind this Veil uh to act in ways that ultimately allow the Leela to unfold and we may or may not even we we probably don't even know that we're behind the veil unless we think about these kinds of things um yeah yeah I like to and the greatest amount of suffering I
see Within Myself and others is taking this identity this Persona too seriously like that's when that's when I really get get C how am I being seen how am I being judged you know by people who is this person called AI you know like all that is just like now I just like I feel like a tightening happening when yeah those thoughts even come through MH you know it's like yeah how I feel like living in choosing to live in community like this must be a very must be very intentional in relation to wanting to make sure that you don't
stay in that place of restriction and tightness how how does living in a place like yogaville help with yeah yeah it's a well like right away I consider the relationship between internal and external which I think is like a fascinating thing to consider right um but yeah it was very intentional for me uh I saw that a part of my makeup is like being a social being essentially so I don't negate the external or the internal I think they're both you know for a long time I was you know very strong about I'm going to be me no
matter what setting I'm in and it doesn't matter like the setting you know like I I didn't want to like look at how what was going on around me was influencing me um but it really was like this question I think this has to do a lot with what you're interested in too like I've received a lot of benefit by zooming out out and actually seeing it that it's my responsibility my number one job to take care of AI actually this being yes yeah yes so when I look at it from that vantage point I'm like well how do I take care of him it's totally
different because I'm not in it and then I could see more clearly yeah and it was you know put him in an environment where he can you know just be surrounded by people um nature mhm that's going to allow for him to discover investigate truth essentially yeah um and and safety is so important so yeah safety safety is Big so yeah anyway that's the answer I love that you said that I love that you prioritized taking care of Obi that that I feel like it's such a courageous a courageous thing not only to know in yourself but
to be able to say out loud for some of the reasons we were talking about earlier with the with the sort of common perceptions of what it is to be selfish and I I also love that you said it because I I don't know whether you were planning on asking it or not but I know I've heard you ask the question what matters to you or matters most to you very frequently and so I was trying to prepare to answer that question okay answer well no but actually it's I it's I just love the way that this is coming together because when I was thinking
about it I caught myself uh thinking that my answer needed to be something that had to be something that had to do with service something about how I have a something about the world around me the people around me and the influence that I have on on on them in a serviceful way but that it needed to be other focused like the best answer the the most humble answer would be something that's focused on others and I had a moment where I said look your real answer to that question is my needs and so to hear you say that in the
same way is beautiful well I don't think these things are separate I think the only reason I could say that out loud and I do pretty often and have no problem with it because I have zero doubt that taking care of AI is going to lead to the best Ultimate thing for everyone around me and it it's this relationship between self and others that yeah I think it's much more fluid than we give credit and then when I am serving you know I forget this of course I forget but ultimately that is also a part of self-care for AI
That's not separate from that yeah that is too I mean I think about like a as as an example when so yeah like I didn't have children through my 20s and didn't have pets and then finally I was like okay I'm going to get a dog right because I needed that respon like get taking that responsibility was a part of giving to Avi what he needed right and then having children is a step above from that but yeah so it these things are not separate and I really I I hope that we have a different kind of we fra start to frame this in in
a different way yeah yeah yeah especially because the more that we truly know like you said as zero doubt that my needs matter the more that I know that other people's needs matter so I think when we think about selfishness it kind of stops like if someone asserts that my needs matter there's this assumption that well then that person just totally loses any radar they might have for other people's needs mattering and that it's all about them but but actually it's it's the opposite it's the more that we have a sincere experience of
that within ourselves the more we know that it's a it's as true for everyone else around us and then the interesting bit becomes going going about in the world and being curious about what is it like to live in harmony in a way where my needs are met but they're met in a way that is honoring of and respectful of and supportive of contributing to other people's needs being met as well and I like to specify just from sort of a more formal non-violent communication perspective that needs are not a house a spouse a job a family a car Etc that
needs are the experiences that we're that that are satisfied the internal experiences that are satisfied by those things um so for a spouse or a family it would be the need for belonging companionship closeness uh Adventure Joy humor um for things like a job or a house it would be stability and uh security and spontaneity Freedom choice these things and so those those um things that we're doing on the outside are all strategies to meet our needs and the needs our needs are never in conflict with one another because all of our
needs are completely beautiful and completely innocent I have I have a mentor in compassionate communication and and that that's from her but um that all of these needs are it's the strategies that we use to meet needs that have the potential of coming into conflict with one another and creating pain but part of coming into needs awareness is that when we're aware of the needs behind our actions what what are we trying to satisfy by behaving in this way that awareness allows us to go from a single strategy to there being
an infinite number of strategies that we could use to meet this need but when we're not aware of the need the strategy seems like the need and so it seems like the only thing the only way to go it's like we have horse blinders on um yeah makes me just consider the power of Truth you know it's like being aware that this is this is really what's going on like this is the need yeah you know underneath this desire strategy whatever like okay like there's a power in that and being aware of that yeah yeah knowledge is power as I say yeah
awareness awareness you know yeah awareness is power that's what I learned too is like I don't even need to take it further than that than just being aware of and then have faith in the awareness yeah oh that's beautiful yeah also something I consider that helped in terms of you know my number one job is to take care of Avi is like similar to what you're saying um I I wondered what would the world look like if everyone saw it as their number one job to take care and to me it's also just like practical like it makes sense like right
so much pain and suffering in trying to change what is outside right but I have Direct Control I know that I am a part of this thing you know that's larger than myself I have no doubt in that but there also is an intimacy in terms of my relationship with myself I have more direct control over this thing and because I have more direct control it deserves more of my attention because I can actually do something about it yeah yeah and and that becomes um exemplary it becomes a way of unintentionally unintentionally being a
role model for you know having that disposition internal disposition when you're facing the external world is something that without even trying will show others that it's okay to be that to to conduct oneself that that way as well it's safe it will show some others that it's okay others will also resent you for it too I would say TJ yes yes I appreciate you're that Bal that balanced perspective yeah I was also considering that you know I think I also have a need to not always get what I want you know I don't know what I'm sure
there's probably like a deeper need there so spontan or surprise or Adventure or friction cuz friction leads to growth okay I see you know perhaps yeah it's something with with with Zen that you know we she wants to get what she wants so much and so like naturally it's like well it's not always going to happen you're not always going to be able to get what you want and it's no different from for us as as adults like that's one of the lessons that nature seems to be teaching us is that we there's so much we don't control yeah
yeah yeah and I need to learn that again and again there's that that reminds me of there's um a beautiful uh just little saying by he was a a Christian worship artist in I think the like the 80s and 90s he passed away tragically unfortunately in the mid90s but his name is Rich Mullins and there's this little clip I have of him where he says that God does not answer our prayers according to our understanding but according to his wisdom and so you might not be we might not be getting what we think that we want according to our understanding but
that desire or that prayer if it's if we put it out in the form of a prayer that that's still being honored 100% still being honored and responded to but according to that higher wisdom yeah yeah now yeah I love that I don't know if it was gurev who said this um or it's from someplace else but essentially that the highest form of Prayer is um I don't know what's best for me you know what's best for me yeah I I I love that yeah takes the pressure off yeah totally takes the pressure off I like taking the pressure
off was there anything else about compassionate communication that you wanted to share I know you've been diving pretty deeply into this I I feel so fulfilled with all the ways that it's just naturally been a part of our conversation yeah what do you hope for yourself in in the future that I Feel Love Within Myself in a way that is expansive and yet complete enough to um allow me to fully
trust myself yeah the this relationship with the heart you know it's it's interesting like do you find that like you tunee in more like physically like directly the Mind focusing on the heart itself that there's like a relationship happening there it's interesting you put it that way there's there's this little phrase in the bav Gita that I use the Sanskrit I I forget which verse it's in but the Sanskrit is and that means um calming the mind or stopping the Mind from within the heart um I don't know the sort of the
technicalities I think of what goes on between here and here at this point in my Evolution but but I definitely can tell when I'm am all up here to the neglect of what's going on in here um and I think that my my journey with compassion and with empathy has been the bridge between the two um and also recently I mean this is just very sort of practical but um tuning more into especially this time of year in Autumn tuning more into the Earth element and using like the Earth mudra to try and actually sort of bring like
gravitate my my mind and my my mental energy further down in my system and and and and draw it down into into the heart um but they're always going to work in Tandem and I think they need to trust one another yeah beautiful thank you so much thank you Obby yeah yeah it was a pleasure